Belonging. It’s just a word, yet it creates a sense of longing. To be accepted and to fit in. We have friends and family. We stay busy going from work to working out or hanging out with friends. We volunteer at church and get involved with different ministries. Sometimes, we think that we belong because we are busy with all these different things and people.
Then we find ourselves alone. When we stop being busy. Often in those moments our insecurities, fears, and doubts rise to the surface. We wonder where we fit in. Where we belong.
Other times the loneliest place is in a crowd. We’re surrounded by people, yet for whatever reason, don’t quite feel like we fit in. Personally, I find it hard in a crowd when everyone else seems to know about a certain subject or they all have been somewhere I haven’t. When those conversations happen around me, it can be hard to feel like I belong. I am the one left out and alone.
I have felt like I don’t belong throughout my life, even as a child. One job I had emphasized that feeling. With that job, I literally lived on the road for a few months at a time. I worked and traveled with only one other person. The days we didn’t get along were hard. We were all strangers when we met for a week long training. Then suddenly you’re paired up, traveling, and working together with someone you’ve only known for a week. This had its challenges. While I enjoyed the job and seeing different states and places, it was hard to feel like I belonged anywhere. We were constantly traveling and in a different location. We stayed in hotels and were in a new one every day or two. Occasionally, we stayed with a family which was nice. However, we were usually only there for a few nights. I remember one time we got to stay with a family in the same house for a whole week. It felt like a luxury! I visited a new church just about every Sunday. When we were lucky, our schedule would bring us back to an area we had been in before. The best was when we were able to stay with a family we had stayed with before. Those were treasured, rare occurrences. Those families welcomed us and made us feel like we were a part of their household.
It is very hard to feel like you belong when you aren’t in a place long enough to have roots of any sort. It was an incredible job, and I’m very grateful for the experience. I got to see so much of the country and the kindness of strangers. A couple times, people at church treated us to lunch despite never having met us before. Once a couple invited us to stay at their house. As complete strangers we were welcomed into their house. Those were the moments on the road where I did feel like I belonged and was cared for. It was a welcome relief from the feeling of being disconnected from friends and family. Phone calls weren’t the same as having people in your life.
I am new to IMM and Spain. I am thoroughly glad to be here and am enjoying it. The people on this team are kind and caring and have welcomed me. Yet adjusting to something new has its moments of challenge. I wonder if I will ever learn even some of this new language. It’s hard to feel like you belong when you feel like you can’t communicate with the people in the grocery store or at a restaurant or anywhere else that’s not at IMM. Fortunately, my work is all in English so that does help. At least at IMM. All the same, I am still learning and adjusting. It’s an exciting time, yet moments of insecurities can suddenly arise.
Recently, I read a devotion by Max Lucado from his book Jesus: The God Who Knows Your Name that really encouraged me. Obviously, belonging is important. In his story, he mentions Carinette, a young orphan girl in Haiti. Carinette was different from the other children at the orphanage. She had more of a spark to her than the others. The reason for this? She had been visited by people from a land she’d never been to who invited her to come live with them and join their family. She had pictures of her soon-to-be family that she showed to anyone who would look at them. Carinette lived in the orphanage with a sense that she would soon join a family and have a place to belong.
The other part of the story Max Lucado shared is that he first heard about Carinette from her adoptive father. The father was so excited to bring his new daughter home that he hardly took time to breathe while telling Max Lucado about her. Max Lucado then compares this earthly adoptive father to God.
It’s hard for me to imagine God being that excited about me. It can be hard to believe that He wants to bring me home to be with Him. In the Message version in Ephesians 1, it says,
“Long, long ago he [God] decided to bring us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.”
The word planned stands out to me. It wasn’t something He had to do. God chose to adopt us and planned to include us. Imagine the God of the universe wants to include you and me. It was His choice to add us to His family and give us an inheritance in heaven. He is giving us a place to truly belong. Nothing can separate us from God’s love (Romans 8).
Carinette waited expectantly for her new home. I forget to wait expectantly for my new home. I get busy or tired. And life can just be so hard. It’s easy to forget. I struggle and don’t feel like I fit in here. I want to belong. We all do. Maybe in part I feel like I don’t because this isn’t my true home. It’s a reminder that I do have a new home God has planned for me. One day the trials of this life will be behind me, and I will be in the presence of God. I will be in a place where I finally feel like I completely belong.