My how times have changed!

My Mother, Phillis, recently revealed a closeted secret. When she was a young girl growing up in Prim, Arkansas, sometimes the family would skip church Sunday nights to watch “Country Hoedown” on TV.

This was no small event. The vibrant, Holiness church they attended was located just down the street, and everybody knew everybody in that tiny town. People would notice. Skipping an evening service could lead to jean-wearing, hair-bobbing and… TV watching!

Televisions were bad news in Prim. My grandparents hid theirs in the closet during the daylight hours. But when the hot Arkansas sun would set, the window blinds would remain closed, the closet door would be swung open and that TV would be switched on. A towel would be placed on the windowsill so the flickering blue sin light of the TV could not be seen by any of the righteous acquaintances that drove past. 

Fast forward 66 years or so. Last Monday I watched a recorded live-stream of that same Holiness congregation on my flickering computer monitor. It was their second attempt to reach out to their coronavirus quarantined congregation, and I was cheering them on. The camera seemed bolted to the floor somewhere behind the second pew, and a not quite HD lockdown shot was wide enough to include the drums, piano, pulpit, and altar. But let me tell you, I was proud of them. The power of their devotion still ran through a live wire. The Preacher was on fire and the music, led by my second cousin was soulful. He belted the verses out like time had stood still.  In fact, the only thing that seems to have changed was that I was able to watch THEM on my iMac Retina 5K, 27-inch colored sin light!

If you want to watch them, private message me and I will send the link. But if you are prayed-up enough to peek at this Country Hoedown clip, do so at your own risk!

The Ugly Truth

“Hi, Becky! Welcome to Spain! Here is a pandemic.”

This was not how I expected my first two months in Spain to unfold. There’s plenty to be concerned about, but the virus has indisputably brought most regular activity to a halt. I dare say, for most of us it is an unwelcome but oh so necessary halt. It is a forced stillness.

When I was told that we would be working off a “skeleton crew”–when the first friend that I made here in Spain told me that she was going back to the states–my heart sank. I cried. Not because I was thinking of the magnitude of the virus. Not because I was concerned about my coworkers’ safety. Not even because I was worried about my own health. No. I cried at the thought of not being able to go out for days (little did I know it would be weeks!) to entertain myself with friends, company, and–as a last but common resort–people-watching.

“I’m going to be alone,” my mind screamed. “I’m going to be suffocated by silence and loneliness. I’m going to mope on my bed wishing a friend was there to make me laugh. And at the same time, I’ll be too proud to admit to anyone that I’m struggling. These upcoming weeks are going to be torture.”

The odd thing was, I wasn’t hurting for things to do. I had a list. (I love lists. I could write you a list of reasons why I enjoy lists...and I would enjoy writing it.) Work out, bake, read, write this blog that you’re reading right now. And it’s not like I’ve never been alone before. That’s just a part of life. This past year, I had so much alone time...and it was the worst. Stress from family, work, relationships, and health problems, mixed with a general existential dread of the future, culminated in the moments I was home alone. My mind didn’t necessarily wander through all these fears, nor did it fixate on one fear and snowball. It was more like a nebulous, all-encompassing feeling. I remember trying unsuccessfully to describe the feeling to those close to me, but when I really got down to it, it was, very simply, a sense that I was unwanted and all alone and that my life was not going to be OK.

So alone time in a new country with a new language and a new group of people sounded like a round two recipe for anxiety. I knew it would make me more aware of the darker questions creeping up in my heart: Is God really with me when the silence seems to say that He’s not? Do I really believe my future is going to turn out okay? With all the chaos going on right now, do I really think I matter--to my friends, to my family, to God? I’ve uncovered the ugly truth that, when all the noise stops, my answer to those questions is a faint but threatening “no.”

When I realized all of this was festering in me, I prayed. Well, first I cried and felt bad for myself some more. But then I prayed. And I decided to stop assuming that the silence meant God and all my friends were ignoring me. I decided to seek Him and really listen, even if what I heard made me uncomfortable.

What I discovered is that all too often, I rest all my security on my own abilities and the affirmation of others, and when those things fail me, I feel let down and insecure. I doubt God’s promises. And those things are going to fail me. Heck, I’m not even big enough to reach the top shelf in the kitchen without a stool. How could I control even my own future? We were not designed to find security in anything short of our creator and who He says we are.

It can be scary to admit to ourselves that we have doubts and perhaps even scarier to bring those doubts to God. My thought is usually something like, What if He gets mad and smites me?! It’s a bit silly, I know, but our human instinct is to hide the uglier, more shameful parts of our hearts. The truth is, though, that He already knows they’re there. He made my heart. He knows me. He knows you! He’s not afraid of the weeds that grow in there because He’s bigger than them. Hiding them from Him does nothing for us but keep us from knowing Him more.

This quarantine was certainly not the on-boarding I expected, but I’m taking this strange season as an opportunity to grow, to be painfully honest with myself, and to invite God into the doubts that live in my heart. It’s been a challenge, but such a rewarding one. Would you join me?

We may be locked down, but the Gospel isn't!

Here at IMM in Spain, we are on mandatory quarantine. We are locked down, but we are still busy working on the post-production of The Heritage Project (aka Lost Legacy Reclaimed). As we pray for the health and safety of those around us, let us also pray they come to know the peace of salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord.

FPS and Me

It was a stormy, summer night. That kind of summer storm where the air was dry and hot. The lightning flashed and snapped in thin, white lines across a velvet sky. A little boy wakes up and searches the small duplex. After finding it empty, he goes back to his room and begins sobbing in the darkness. He was wondering if Jesus had come back and left him behind. In university, that same scared, little boy, now dressed in the trappings of youth, wrestled with the idea of whether he was saved because he believed or because he just did not want to be left behind. Fast forward another decade, now dressed as a working man, he still struggled with whether God loved him even when he failed everyday or would he be left behind in the end. This little boy is me. That fear and those thoughts were my own not so many years ago. I could not reconcile that God truly loved me, but I did not love myself enough to believe that. This infected my interactions with God and the people around me. All due to a fear that took hold as a little boy. The fear that I was not truly loved by God, and He was seeking any excuse to send me to hell. Fear, Shame, and Pain come in different forms and can shape who we become.

Just to reconcile the loose end of the story above. I was having a nap and my family had gone to our friend's place next door. It was the 80s…it was a different time!

To be able to reach even more people and love them the way that Mathew 22:37-40 says to love the people around us. We must love ourselves and work through the things that hold us back from being spiritually healthy. In confronting our pasts, the things that have made us emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or spiritually unhealthy, we identify those things that are holding us back from loving people more deeply and more openly.

It is not a hard stretch to be able to generalize the following statement: Everyone experiences Fear, Shame, and Pain. These things can shape us, and even follow us into our relationships, our kids, our jobs, our churches, our missions, and our daily lives.

Fear

What does fear look like? What do I fear? Is it enough to simply tell myself that - ¨God is not given me a spirit of fear” - and move on? Would it be best to address the underlying issues? Do I allow God to use whatever means and methods to heal the traumas? To heal the things from the past, the things that were communicated to me, and the lies I have told myself to cover up the fears I now have? Fears like: not measuring up, of being inadequate, of loneliness, of failing, fears of succeeding, fears of connecting with others, and letting them see my true self? Was President Roosevelt correct in his statement that “the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself” or does it go much deeper than that?

God, help me to not have a spirit of fear as I address the problems in my life that hold me back from experiencing the true JOY of being!

Shame

What is shame? What am I carrying shame about? How am I acting or am I reacting because of the shame I have in my life? Do I shame others? Am I bringing shame on the name of Christ by not being the best Christian everyone else thinks I am? Does that statement induce more shame? How can I identify the shame in my life and stop allowing it to stab at me from the dark recesses of my mind? How is truth going to light up those corners so that I may see the scared child that is reacting out of the experience(s) that brought about the shame?

God, help me to identify with Your LOVE, shine the light of truth even though I know that it will scare me. It will be scary to see the things I have kept in the dark, even from myself. Allow me to accept that You hung on the cross in shame so that I may be free.

Pain

What does Pain feel like? What do I do to avoid pain? Is the pain I experience, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or some unholy combination of these? How do I limit the pain? Do I self-medicate? Most people are not true masochists. That is to say, we do not enjoy or seek to live in constant pain. How do I experience my pain? Is my pain self-harm or harm from others? Am I trying to carry this pain on my own? Do I suffer and revel in the pain causing me to have a victim mentality? Do I acknowledge that my pain is real? Do I acknowledge other people's pain and how they are experiencing that pain? Am I dismissive of their pain? Do I respond like a wounded animal, and bring even more pain into my life? Do I inflict pain on those around me? Do I define my pain or does my pain define me?

God, help me to acknowledge that You are the Giver of Life. That living in pain robs me of life and that You desire that I have life and life abundantly. I understand that this life will always have pain in it, but that through You I may heal from the pain and have the freedom to understand this paradoxical truth.

Looking at the human experience, one can see a correlation of Adam and Eve in the garden to the end of their life and Christ in the garden to the end of His life. Each experienced Fear, Shame, and Pain. One side of the story cursed humanity to the same wretched experience and the other side of the story redeemed humanity from that same wretched experience. However, Redemption comes at a cost. While it is freely given, there is work involved. One has to be willing to open up and be honest with one's self.

It is not an easy task to confront the naked truth. Especially after spending years erecting walls around the secret places of our lives. Once we begin to move in the direction of going through those walls, we have a better scope of the magnitude of how far we are from the throne of God. Just how far across the chasm between us and the mercy of God, the arms of Jesus had to stretch to reach us. We begin to realize just how much grace and love was truly involved in the act of God sending His Son to die for you and for me. It only further serves to highlight how much we need to be sharing this Good News. Sharing how God continues to save us from the fate that sin had put on our lives. Lives that are further clouded by Fear, Shame and Pain.

Here at IMM, we are wrestling with the truth of who we are so that we may better serve the King. Why? Because laying in the darkness of lies and uncertainty are other children of the Father. Children living in Fear, Pain, and/or Shame, dying in sin, and they deserve to know the love of Jesus Christ. To know all the way into the very depths of who they are, that they are loved. That God has done everything in His power to make a way for them to be with Him and to live in that love. If we are truly about the Father's business, then we should seek to not leave anyone in the darkness.

We must live out these truths so that others may see the light of

Jesus´ Love on Every Screen!

Who Am I

“Who am I?” is a question that we ask ourselves during dark times in our lives or maybe just times of being introspective.  The Bible helps us to answer that question not just from our own perspective but from God’s perspective. Over the next 13 blogs that I write we’re going to look in the book of Ephesians chapters 1 and 2 at thirteen things that God says we are.

I am blessed!  We’ve all heard it and have probably said it. “I am blessed.”  What does that mean? Is it just referring to material things? Is it only when we are successful that we are blessed?  Is it only when things are going well for us that the favor of God is on us and we are blessed? In the book of Matthew in the famous “Sermon on the Mount”, Jesus lists nine ways that we are blessed.  

• Blessed are the poor in spirit

• Blessed are those who mourn

• Blessed are the meek

• Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

• Blessed are the merciful

• Blessed are the pure in heart

• Blessed are the peacemakers

• Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness

• Blessed are those who are insulted, persecuted, and lied about.

It seems that Jesus is saying that we are not just blessed when things are going well, but when our perspective is turned more on him instead of circumstances.  Can we really be blessed when things aren’t going well? When it seems that all hell is coming against us? When we spend more time in the doctor’s office or hospital than at our place of work?  The answer is emphatic. Yes, we can.

Even though we may struggle, we are blessed. Our time of weakness is when his strength carries us.  Paul confirms this in 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

You are blessed today not because you’ve done the right things, but because the grace of Jesus Christ abounds in us.

Foundation

Having finished the English versions of The Heritage Project in 2019, we can now turn to create other language versions to share with people around the world, especially in places where Jesus is not named such as North Africa.  We did not create the English versions primarily so that Americans could hear the stories of these heroes, but so that the ancestors of these heroes could. In order for the greater goal, putting Jesus on many screens so that all can hear, we needed a strong foundation.

Once we create the English versions of these stories, we can strip out the English host and his voice in order to replace it with another language.  This means that we do not have to re-edit every story from scratch— a process that would take many months. Rather, we make a repeatable system from a strong base.

The process of creating a foundation for all other languages to follow reminds me of the passage in Matthew where Jesus contrasts two men who set out to build houses.  One chooses a strong foundation of rock to build on, and other foolish man builds on sand. We all can guess which one stands the test of time.

I wish I could say that we have executed this process perfectly as a wise man choosing a strong footing.  A couple of years ago, in our haste to get an episode into a difficult part of the world, we didn’t wait for the rock but instead rushed the process like a man building on sand.  We cost ourselves several hours of work in the long run and learned a valuable lesson. 

If I can learn this lesson from a 30-minute documentary, can I also see where it applies in my own life? Where am I rushing things?  Where am I taking shortcuts? Where am I going to have regrets later? How can I, then, make a different choice and build something that will last; something that is solid, true, and right?

Christmas and Preparing for 2020

As we bustle around wrapping up different loose ends before the end of the year, there is a sort of hush in the offices. Some staff members are away with families already. To paraphrase the movie quote from The Fellowship of the Ring, “One does not simply fly to the US of A with your family“. You grab the cheap tickets when they come available and you go when the ticket dates are the most affordable.

In the hustle and bustle, as people stateside begin decorating and shopping (It is this blogger´s policy that it is not acceptable to embrace the cheer of the season until the 1st of December), there is a sense of hurry and a general sense of heightened emotions surrounding this time of the year. We have been, several times this month alone, reminded here at IMM that Jesus is not the God of hurry. One sermon talked about the Hebrews as they were rebuilding the wall one person held a weapon and another person a tool for the rebuild, their productivity was cut in half. And yet even then God blessed them, and they built the wall in like 52 days. In another devotional this week, Jesus was described in one word – RELAXED. Now that is not the first word I would have used, but as I reflected on it more, it began to make more sense. Jesus was never in a hurry. He made time for friends and family. He worked, ate meals with them, shared in the day to day conversations, interruptions, hunger, and always made time for the people around Him. Now some of you reading this may be wondering how this may relate to missions and Christmas, bear with me.

In missions, we are always pressed with the urgency of the mission.

The idea that there is not a pressing need to spread the Gospel as fast as we can, is not what I am writing about. It is the empathy and compassion we misplace in our daily lives as we rush out the door in the morning, grab a coffee (but use the drive-through because no one has time for actually sitting and enjoying the coffee, so make sure it is extra-strength-loaded-with-sugar-sugar-because-I-have-to-get-through-the-day-and-half-the-night cup of coffee), work, school, maybe another coffee run, after-school programs, sports, grocery runs, get home for homework, make dinner, yelling, crying, kids, teens, spouse, maybe bed, but most likely a few episodes of something just to de-fragment from the day.

How many of you felt anxiety just reading that long, run-on sentence?

In the common household scenario above, where was the time for God? Where does devotions and quality, relaxed time with Jesus come in? How often do we get so busy that we push God to the margins of our time and eventually our lives? I can tell you as a missionary, someone who is supposed to be this super-spiritual leader…I fight with this daily. I often replace God with the HURRY of the day. HURRY then becomes my god. I have less patience for those around me, tailgating becomes a thing, road rage, and I give up peace, hope, and love. How is that living a life for Christ? How much better at loving God and loving your neighbor would you be if you cut your product-activity in half and RELAXED? “Pipe dreams!” “Fantasy!” “You do not know my life!” These are all things I can imagine you might think or say out loud as you read this, however, take a moment to sit with this and really mull it over.

While you sit with that thought, here is a workout concept.

As I trained in bodybuilding as a much younger man, I went to an old-school gym that had the idea that you come three times a week for a couple of hours and leave it all on the gym floor. Several times I worked out so hard, I literally left all of my breakfast on the gym floor. Anyway, I would push 100% and then have to take a day to recover. It works, but I recently learned of a concept that deals with giving 70%. The idea is that if I train at 70% for 5 days a week, I will achieve better results over time with less risk of injury, than pushing it to the max and having to take a day or two to recover. Also, I tend to have more energy and desire to return to the gym the next day. Believe what you will, some of you “gym rats“ will say something like “Well, that is why you work muscle groups on different days“ or have a bunch of other counter-arguments, but that is not the point.

Often times in life we push 100% for so long, and then we forget how to turn off. We do not get the rest we need to re-coup. We may go on a vacation and it takes a week or more just to decompress from life before we are even human enough to enjoy the vacation. For most of us by that time that happens, vacation is over, and it is back to the grind. What would your life look like if you gave 70%? What would change? How much time would you gain? How relaxed would you be? “But my job will not let me give 70%!” Maybe, or maybe you are just used to giving 100% at work, so what is left for God and family?

You may be asking, “What in all of this has to do with Christmas?”

Fair point, here is my attempt to wrap this gift with a bow for you. I propose that as we get together with our families and friends, we are in so much of a hurry to get to that point that we are not relaxed while it is happening. Food could burn. Cell phones are out. And does one really want to hear about all of auntie´s 15 Chihuahuas…again? Next thing you know, everyone is smiling for the family photo, but there has been at least one family fight, uncle is never coming back, and cousin is crying. Family at the holidays is never easy, but how much better would it be if we all were more relaxed during the year and had more capacity to deal with the absurdities of family life at the holidays? How much better at missions would you be if you took the time to sit with someone and do life with them? I believe that like in our finances, where God commands you to test Him with giving back to Him 10%, that the same principle could be held for your time as well.

Here is a Christmas experiment…

Dial back the HURRY by 10%, use that time to simply RELAX and BE!

Relax and be with God. Relax and be with your family. As God opens more avenues of blessings, take back more time from your HURRY god and maybe the JOY of the season will last longer – even when the bills come due in January. Oops! I could do another 1.000 words on not going broke for Christmas, but that is for another time.

Until then, thank you for your support, and from our IMM families to yours…                                                    

                                                                  RELAX and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Dirty Jobs

Recently we held a staff retreat for IMM’s team. As a way to get to know each other better, we each answered a question about the worst job we’ve had in the past.

I shared about a time I helped in the remodeling of my home church in Florida. The interior of the sanctuary was supported by large, arched laminated wooden beams that had been painted. Our pastor who was leading the renovation thought they would look much better if the original wood grain was visible. To make that happen, he decided we’d remove the paint and refinish them.

This proved to be a massive undertaking that took several weeks. Sections of scaffolding had to be set up to access the full height of the arches. All of an area that could be reached was brushed with a caustic paint remover and when the surface bubbled and softened, we scraped it with a sharpened tool. When the paint was cleaned off from that section, the scaffolding had to be moved to the next and the process repeated. And repeated. And repeated…

It was a very messy job. Globs of caustic paint residue and wood shavings were unavoidable and sometimes you would accidentally sit on some causing irritation to “sensitive” body parts. And the fumes! Working at heights in an enclosed, unairconditioned space in Florida’s heat and humidity was not exactly pleasant anyway, but the addition of chemical smells made it extra “special”. But, eventually, in spite of the difficulties, all the paint was removed, a wood stain applied and the result looked great!

As I shared that story, it dawned on me that I had once been a “church stripper”! No, not that kind of stripper, but it was a dirty job nonetheless. And it reminded me of several important lessons. One is that God uses messy situations and dirty jobs to shape and refine our lives. Serving God is not a guarantee of perfect circumstances or a problem-free existence. The Psalmist said it this way in Psalm 66:10-12: “God, you have tested us; you have purified us like silver. You let us be trapped and put a heavy load on us. You let our enemies walk on our heads. We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place with good things.”

Another lesson is that change usually requires hard work and it may be a painful process. It’s easy when things are hard to lose sight of the bigger picture. We can get so enmeshed in details, challenges and “stuff” that we become discouraged. Galatians 6:9 tells us that “We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up.”

Perhaps the greatest lesson is that our past does not have to define our future. Real change is possible and meaningful purpose is available because of what Jesus has done and is doing in our lives. Titus 2:14 says, “He gave himself for us so he might pay the price to free us from all evil and to make us pure people who belong only to him—people who are always wanting to do good deeds.”

At IMM we have a diverse team with unique life stories and experiences. All of us have struggled with various issues and survived “dirty jobs”. God is working through and sometimes despite those things. He loves us and calls us to serve the nations and each other. Maybe he’s asking you to get your hands dirty and help us put Jesus On Every Screen! 

The Lighthouse

I was reminded recently of a story regarding a naval vessel.  Some say this is an urban legend other say it was a British naval vessel. Whatever the case, it really spoke to me.

The story goes that there was a naval vessel on the sea.  The young man watching the radar reported to the captain that there appeared to be something heading right for them.  The Captain immediately got on the horn and demanded that the other vessel change its course. They responded back by requesting that the captain change his course.  This irritated the captain. He responded back, “This is the captain speaking and I demand that you change your course.” They calmly responded back, “Yes, sir, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to change your course.”  By this point, the captain was angered and yelled back, “I repeat I’m the captain of a naval carrier and I have several battleships surrounding me. If you do not change your course, we’ll be forced to take action.” The second vessel again calmly responded “We are a lighthouse. It’s your choice.”

As we share the gospel, there are times when we must change our course.  It could be for a number of reasons. We may have gotten comfortable with what we are doing.  We may have gone as far as we can, literally worked ourselves out of a job. Sometimes our lighthouse, Jesus Christ, wants us to reach out to others who haven’t heard the gospel.

As we go from recording one series to another, I’m seeing a pattern of God changing our course.  Women of the Bible gives hope for those that are immigrants, been trafficked, or simply feel like they aren’t worth much.  The Heritage Project reaches out to a different group – the people of North Africa.  

As we follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit to reach more people groups with the Gospel, may we ever find ourselves heading the call from our lighthouse.  Instead of refusing to change course because of comfort, may our hearts always be open, and our spiritual ears listening for the direction that God wants us to go.  May we ever been attempting things that can’t be accomplished with our strength, but things that without God we can’t do it.

Our lighthouse is always there – always shining the way.  We just have to be humble enough to head his voice.

IMM uses MEDIA to Plants Churches

Often we think of MEDIA in churches as a way to help the Praise and Worship leader get the congregation to sing all the correct words of the worship song, perhaps a chance for the youth pastor to exhibit how “hip and with it“ they are with the meme culture, or a way to show a funny announcement video. Even evangelistically, we tend to think in terms of hosting a film and waiting for people to show up to have a “heart response“. These are the basic thoughts of how media is used in churches currently.  

Is that the only type of media IMM can offer? 

Does IMM offer ways for you to stop waiting for people to come to you? 

Maybe we can find ways for you to meet and engage people where they are?

There is no denying how effective the Jesus type films have been, but is that all there is for helping plant churches around the world? I ask you to put yourself in the shoes of a man or woman in the Northern African region for example. How effective do you imagine it would be to hear a Christian film, not dubbed, but actually in your native tongue and dialect? Maybe even someone narrating the video that looks and talks like you do. Maybe that is what it takes to pique your interest to investigate online, or connect with someone locally, and in doing so you encounter the love of Jesus.

What could be done with a whole congregation trained on how to use their phones to spread the gospel amid a generation prone to using their phones to tear down, project hate, and vitriol against others?

Maybe as a church planter you are attempting to reach out to a people group that has specific needs, IMM may be able to help with that. 

Here are a few quotes to think about: 

"...we must be the church to each other—to listen, befriend, invite....change doesn’t happen after facts are put forward; it happens in the warm context of community…“ Mary DeMuth (Author)

 How can IMM help with that?

“IMM provides resources and tools for planters to reach target people groups…like conversation starter videos that engage viewers about life issues.“ Henry Marsh (IMM Distribution Coordinator)

“IMM has a Mobile Media Training to draw people to a new church plant…helping lay people with the purposes of outreach to engage the culture around them.“ Denise Godwin (IMM President)

In a field ripe for the harvest, maybe it is time to use new tools to engage the current culture. IMM has been ahead of the curve for 20 years now, helping innovative congregations develop ways to sow the gospel, and now how to harvest what was sown by finding new ways to put Jesus on every screen!

As I sit at my kitchen table in the stillness of late evening, my kids finally asleep and the heat of the day broken by a gentle cool breeze through the window, my mind returns to a recent moment captured in time - a moment of decision, a recommitment to the call that I first responded to as a young twenty-year old, a call to go where God wanted me to go, to do what He wanted me to do. 

The decision at forty-something looked and felt so very different from the one I made at twenty. At twenty, my heart bubbling over with the excitement of the adventure ahead, I was giddy with the knowledge that God had chosen me, had trusted me with an impossible task. This time though, the decision was weightier, colored by an awareness of the cost, and an appreciation for the difficulties that invariably lay ahead. Yet, in the end, my feet inexorably carried me to the front of the auditorium to place my commitment card at the altar. Why? It is a question I have asked myself recently, as we have started over in a new country, learning a new language and culture - this time with two toddlers in tow. The answer, however, remains the same as over twenty years ago when I was a young, naïve, and inexperienced twenty-year old– it is because there are still those who are lost without knowledge of our Savior, Jesus. There are those who suffer, who are lonely, distressed, widowed, orphaned, and abandoned. Others feel hopeless, are trapped in their sins, and see no way out. I have knowledge that they need! God has entrusted me with the Gospel, the good news of His son!

So, here we are, serving God in Spain alongside the IMM team, striving to put Jesus on every screen. What an impossible task, but what a big God we serve! Together, we can ensure that people hear the good news and receive the hope that only Jesus can give. Are you with us?

August Nights

Sometimes, the wind picks up at night during the summer. The hot air of the Spanish mesa flees with the sun, and cooler temps rush in. I can get up from bed, look out the open window, and see the treetops swirling. I gather the curtains back inside from their wild flapping and pick up important papers that have blown across the floor and down the hallway. I re-position the fan blowing in our bedroom so it doesn’t fight the wind, and lay back down.

I’ll admit that when I’m lying awake during these cool evenings, I enjoy doing nothing. Sometimes the solution to a video compositing challenge will pop into my head, or I’ll see a plan behind my eyelids for the construction of the next prop on my list. However, this week I’ve started to sweat over the looming weeks of the production scheduled for this Autumn. I start packing the cargo van, I start organizing the props and worrying over the dates on the calendar. Instead of resting, I begin a mental checklist that if not set aside, will morph into one of those dreams where I’m standing in front of my school locker, trying desperately to remember the combination in order to get to the final exam wearing nothing but my socks. Yeah, you know you’ve been there. (I may have even seen you run past me!)

In the mornings, I begin to appreciate once more that this media missions endeavor allows us to admit weakness and rely on God’s strength. The more we remember to ease our own fretting control over the uncontrollable details, inviting God back into our understanding of His project, the easier it will go for us. I learn this again and again. I’ve spent years watching the treetops swirl.

“Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.

Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy.

Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy.

Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.

Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen.” 

~ prayer attributed to Augustine, who is featured in one of The Heritage Project stories in production at this time.