I am used to being an independent person and able to go places by myself and do things on my own. I remember one time attending a conference by myself, and someone else at it told me that I was brave for doing so. That’s not that hard; I go sit in a room and listen to a speaker. I just happened to be eating lunch alone at that moment, but I’m an introvert and it didn’t really bother me. As a single woman, I am old enough to know that I either have to do things by myself or I just don’t go places.
Being in a foreign country and living here has made me aware of how it was easier to be independent back in the US. Being independent can be good. In some cases it’s what I need to be. However, it may not always be the best thing for me. We all need support and help sometimes. Whether it’s because we’re facing hard circumstances or we’re just tired or lonely. Sometimes, I wonder if I can be too independent.
Here, I need help with some things because of not knowing the language or the customs. I have had people who helped me with different appointments and various other things that had to be done. I was grateful for having help even figuring out everything that needed to be done. It would’ve been hard to figure it out on my own.
This past month, I have been sick. For the entire month. I am too tired to know all that I can learn from this. However, this does emphasize how important people are in a different way. It is important to have relationships with people who you can reach out to. I have had to rely on my teammates more than normal during this time. People have been supportive, whether it is encouraging me to go rest or making me tea. One teammate took me to urgent care and helped translate for me.
Also, it can be hard to ask for help. I have seen that in myself and in people around me. It makes me wonder: why is it so hard to ask for help? It seems like we are more willing to offer help than accept it or ask for it. Maybe it’s because asking for help makes us feel weak or incapable or less than in some way. I’m not sure if it’s cultural or human nature or a combination of both, but we, as Westerners, don't seem to like admitting we’re weak. At least we don’t in certain situations.
1 Corinthians 12 talks about how we are the body of Christ. Being part of a body means we’re interdependent. We need each other to do what God wants us to do. To fulfill our calling we need people who will make us grow and help us. We need people who will encourage us to keep going. Sometimes, that may mean we need to ask for help no matter how hard that is.
Maybe, sometimes, I can be too independent. I do know that I am supposed to be dependent on God. I think that needing to ask for help from people can help keep me a little bit more humble and help me recognize my need for God. It is not easy asking for help, and I still don’t like doing it, but maybe God is teaching me that I need Him and people who can point me to Him again.
